Accepting & Understanding the Role of a Caregiver

Upon receiving news of a loved one’s diagnosis, you may experience the following emotions¹(not necessarily in a linear order, and not necessarily all stages):

If left unaddressed, these negative feelings could accumulate over time. Acknowledging and processing your feelings of grief would help in your acceptance of the diagnosis. Getting your family members to accept and understand the condition is important for securing ample support.

Understanding the severity and extent of your grief can help you seek necessary support. Grief can lead to depression. Some signs of depression to look out for include⁴:

1. Feelings of sadness, emptiness, frustration, or worthlessness
2. Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies
3. Changes in sleeping patterns, including insomnia, or sleeping too much
4. Changes in appetite and weight
5. Frequent emergence of suicidal or self-harm thoughts
6. Unexplained physical problems, such as headaches or back aches

If your mental distress persists, seek professional help immediately by visiting a doctor or a counsellor. For more information, refer to Self-Care for Caregivers.

There are various ways for you to equip yourself as a caregiver. You can:

1. Attend courses

   Formal caregiving training is probably the most straightforward option. Subsidies are available for courses supported by the Caregivers Training Grant (CTG).

2. Self-study

   Skills and knowledge can also be acquired from books, library resources and the Internet. Visit Enabling Guide’s Resources for a non-exhaustive compilation of useful materials such as brochures, infokits and articles.

It can be challenging to simultaneously manage your caregiving role and your career and finances. You can consider discussing flexible work arrangements with your supervisor, using your leave entitlements (including childcare and family care leave) and taking no-pay leave if you need more time to care for your loved one.

You may also be anxious about who will look after your loved one after you are no longer around. While there is no simple solution to this, consider future care planning early to give yourself more runway to make plans and take action. You can start with estate and financial planning by setting up a trust fund through the Special Needs Trust Company (SNTC) and writing a will.

1. Importance of having a support network

   Having a support network can be a source of strength during challenging and stressful caregiving situations⁵. Support can come from friends, neighbours, nuclear or extended family members, other caregivers or support groups. It would be ideal for you to join a support network that you are comfortable with – one that is built on good rapport, mutual acceptance and respect.

   Support networks can also be:

   • A source of comfort, where you can feel understood, empowered, and emotionally supported. They promote a greater sense of belonging and acceptance, which can help you through various challenges in the caregiving journey.
   • A platform to gain knowledge, exchange tips and coping strategies from other caregivers who have gone through similar challenges in their caregiving journey.

    

2. Finding a suitable support network

   You can consider joining one of these support groups based on your needs and preferences, or discover support groups through the CaringSG Alliance Network. These groups allow you to connect with fellow caregivers and learn from their experiences. When deciding which support group to join, you can consider:

   • The profile of caregivers within the support group (e.g., caregivers of persons with physical disabilities or caregivers of persons with autism); and
   • The mode of engagement (e.g., online or physical meetups).

You can also form your own informal support groups with other caregivers and share resources and tips through physical gatherings, over the phone or online.