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Parenting Tips

Parenting your loved one may come with unique challenges in different stages of life and it would help to know how to engage them in play, involve them in everyday activities, and teach them to overcome discrimination and bullying. Transitioning into adolescence and adulthood may also be a trying time for them as it is a period of physical, psychological and emotional changes.

  Key Points

  • Children learn about themselves and the world around them through play, so actively providing them opportunities to do so will be helpful.
  • You can adapt play activities for your child, according to their abilities.

Play is an important way through which children develop and learn about themselves and the world around them. Engaging in play with your child is also an essential way to increase opportunities for bonding and to strengthen your relationship. You may wish to enhance their experience by introducing key learning concepts through play and organising play dates for your loved one. Here are some tips on how you can make play inclusive for them:

Making play inclusive for…

Tips to consider:

Children with physical disabilities1
  • Adapt play activities, where possible, to allow your child to participate2. Consult professionals such as therapists for suggestions on how to do so. For instance, adaptive toys can enable children with physical disabilities to play more easily.
  • Encourage movement, where possible, for children aged one to three, especially as they learn to crawl, stand, or walk.
  • Dance can be used to practise upper body movement.

Children who are deaf/hard-of-hearing

  • Use facial expressions, gestures and signs when explaining games and sit at eye level so they can see you clearly3. Ensure that there is sufficient lighting as well.
  • Enrich playtime by encouraging them to play with, or around other children.
  • Make daily routines fun by contextualising play (e.g., song-signing “The Wheels on the Bus” when taking a bus ride.)

Children with visual impairment

Children with autism or intellectual disabilities
  • Make use of AAC, if needed, so that they can communicate more easily during play.
  • Start by modelling the exploration of toys and objects to help them explore the world around them
  • Illustrate the concept of cause-and-effect to them through playing with toys that need an action to produce a result (e.g. pressing a button for music4).
  • Use the Observe, Wait, Listen Strategy (OWL Strategy)5 to engage them in play.
  • Encourage them to see things from the perspective of others by explaining how others would feel. For example, you can say, “If you knock down your friend’s tower, he may feel sad as he spent a lot of time and effort to build it.”

Play.Able by Be Kind SG is a safe space for your loved one to play as well as borrow accessible toys and curated educational resources.

 Resources

Learn How To Support Your Child With Autism During School Holidays Sign Up For The Play Workshop For Parents Learn about play and autism

Footnotes

1https://www.webmd.com/children/features/playtime-physical-disabilities

2https://techable.enablingvillage.sg/quick/category/42/devices?parent=2&text=Adaptive%20Toys&depth=1

3https://www.ndcs.org.uk/information-and-support/parenting-and-family-life/parenting/parenting-a-deaf-child/playtime-tips-and-ideas/#:~:text=Whenever%20possible%2C%20make%20sure%20your,and%20there%20are%20no%20distractions

4https://familiesforlife.sg/parenting/Special-Needs/Pages/Socialising/Play/Specialneeds_ASD_Play.aspx

5https://www.spd.org.sg/engage-your-child-in-play-with-o-w-l-strategy/

  Key Points

  • Equipping your loved one with daily living skills from young can help them to become more independent.
  • Give them opportunities to carry out activities and make decisions with minimal assistance where possible.

Start building your loved one’s daily living skills and functional skills early. Parents tend to instinctively help their children with various daily tasks such as eating and wearing shoes to hurry them along and especially if the child has motor or processing difficulties. This would reduce their chances of learning and could lead to learned helplessness. Where it is safe and possible to do so, create opportunities for them to perform tasks and make decisions independently. Begin by doing it together and then scaffold the task to make it managable for them to do on their own. You can also encourage them to make choices. For instance, during a meal, give them food options to choose from. Creating manageable home routines as part of everyday life is a great opportunity for your loved one to learn to be more independent.

Actions to take

  • Create opportunities for them to perform some daily tasks and make decisions with minimal assistance.
  • Break down daily activities into smaller steps that they can manage to promote independence.

 Resources


Use This Activity Resource Book To Teach Daily Routines Gain 7 Tips To Teach Your Loved One Life Skills

  Key Points

  • Your loved one may experience bullying or discrimination and not know what to do. Start with educating them about how such situations may look and feel like.
  • Equip them with knowledge and skills to manage such situations.
  • While technology benefits them in communication or learning new skills, it is important for them to be mindful of potential dangers online and practise cyber wellness.

Bullying and discrimination can occur in any environment, and you can prepare them in the following ways:

  1. Explain what bullying and discrimination might look and feel like so that they will be aware if they experience it.
  2. Teach them how to stay safe by staying near trusted adults such as teachers, walking away from bullies or avoiding quiet places. Social stories or video modelling may be useful in teaching how to manage such situations6.
  3. Share ways to safely stand up to bullies and how to seek help. Practise these steps with them through methods like role-playing.
  4. Communicate openly and look out for potential signs of your loved one being bullied such as behaviour changes or a sudden resistance in going to school. Assure them that they are not alone in dealing with this7.

If your loved one is bullied at school, here is what you can do6:

  1. Report the incident to the school and identify ways to address the issue together. It is not advisable to confront the bully or their parents yourself.
  2. Keep a record of text messages, web comments or social media postings that occurred during the event.

Sharing about your loved one’s disability with trusted personnel in school may help to minimise discriminatory behaviour and bullying. There are various approaches that may be helpful for you in sharing such information.

Actions to take

  • Educate your loved one on bullying and discrimination and teach them how to seek help when necessary.
  • Look out for signs of being bullied. If your loved one is being bullied, report the incident to the school immediately and address the issue with them.
  • Sharing information on your loved one’s disability with others can contribute to creating a safe environment for them.

Footnotes:

6Email input from Autism Association Singapore

7https://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/special-educational-needs/help-and-advice/bullying-of-sen-child

  Key Points

  • It is important to equip your loved one with cyberwellness knowledge and how to guard against cyber threats like scams.

With the ease of access to the internet through digital devices, it is important to take preventive measures and educate your loved one on key issues such as addiction, scams and cyberbullying. Learn more about cyber wellness with these resources, including safety guides for persons with disabilities.

These are some ways you can keep them safe:

  1. Use child-friendly internet browsers and install filters to block inappropriate content.
  2. Enhance security features such as firewalls on your devices and disable location tagging. Keep applications and software updated.
  3. Establish ground rules for internet use for them, including instructions on information that should not be shared and avoiding malicious online behaviour.
  4. Teach them about cyberbullying, predatory behaviour and ‘sexting’.

  Key Points

  • As your loved one transits into adolescence, they will experience puberty and physical, mental and emotional changes.
  • You can support them through their adolescence by maintaining a close relationship and open communication.

As your loved one transits into adolescence, they will experience physiological, mental and emotional changes. Amidst this change, they may also feel the need to be assertive, heard and validated. While you may instinctively be more protective of your child because of their disability, you should also be mindful that they are becoming adolescents with changing needs. Here are some tips that may help you support them in this time of transition8:

  1. Listen, observe and ask them what support they require from you. An open communication and acknowledgement of their needs allows them to feel heard.
  2. Learn about their life goals and help them develop a plan to achieve these goals. As part of this process, you can help them identify the milestones and steps to be taken to achieve their end goals.
  3. Even if your loved one expresses uncertainty about completing tasks, continue giving them responsibilities that they can handle and guide them to fulfil these progressively.
  4. Purposefully raise the bar for your loved one to achieve more where possible, so that when they reach the goals, they will feel good about their accomplishments. This will also help to build their skills in time management, prioritisation and scheduling.

During this time of transition, you may be tempted to make life easier for them by not pushing them as hard or stepping in to solve their problems. However, being firm with your requests while remaining sensitive to their needs will signal your confidence in their ability.

 Resources


Attend This Workshop To Learn Parenting Tips For The Teen Years Pick Up Tips On Managing Challenging Behaviours Sign Up To Gain Tips On Parenting Teens With Autism 

Footnotes:

8https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/special-matters/202107/how-do-i-parent-my-adolescent-special-needs

  Key Points

  • As your loved one transits into adulthood, you can support them in their exploration of post-school pathways and planning for their career.

As your loved one transits from late adolescence into early adulthood, you can explore post-school pathways with them. Most Special Education (SPED) school students will graduate and leave school after the age of 18. Your loved one may be suitable and want to work. You can support them by helping them identify suitable career options, encourage them to explore part-time jobs or internships or seek training in work-relevant skills. Employment specialists and agencies such as SG Enable will be able to help with career planning or finding opportunities for your loved one.

If they are not ready or suitable for work, you can explore suitable avenues where your loved one can be meaningfully engaged and continue learning life skills. . Such options include Sheltered Workshops, Day Activity Centres and activity-based programmes.

If your loved one attends a SPED school, the school will be able to support them through a structured transition planning process from the age of 13.

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