Strengthening Family Relationships

It can be challenging to care for a family member with disability, and having strong relationships can benefit the entire family in the following ways:

1. Increased support

   A close-knit family can provide consistent, dependable, and sustainable support to each other.

2. Reduced stress

   With the potential stress of caring for your loved one with disability, strong family relationships create a supportive environment of togetherness and shared responsibility. This can improve the mental health of every family member, including your loved one with disability.

3. Better outcomes for the family

   Having stability and support in the family helps members thrive and feel secure in their identity. In particular, your loved one will likely feel more supported, valued, and included in family activities and events.

4. Increased resilience

   While it may be difficult for family members to understand the needs of your loved one with disability at first, time and effort can help. With greater understanding comes greater resilience to better navigate challenges in life as a family.

Building strong family relationships requires proactive effort. Consider these recommendations¹:

1. Make every family member feel important by creating a routine where there is one-to-one time with each person. Setting aside this time regularly creates opportunities for family members to connect at a deeper level. It is also important to be there for your family members during their milestone events and in their times of need.
2. Continue with family traditions and routines (e.g. having extended family dinners) to maintain a sense of normalcy where possible.
3. Identify common family interests and organise activities around these. These can become opportunities for interaction between your loved one and other family members (e.g., siblings, extended family), allowing them to build rapport and familiarity.
4. Communicate with family members (e.g., spouse, siblings) about your loved one’s disability and listen to their opinions without judgement. This creates a space where everyone can openly share about their feelings and challenges, allowing the family to support and understand one another better.
5. Encourage family members to learn how to engage and support your loved one through strategies from the Early Childhood Holistic Outcomes (ECHO) framework and the Routines-Based Model (RBM), or by attending training to manage any challenging behaviours.

Caregiving may sometimes strain the relationship between spouses due to differences in beliefs and caregiving styles, distribution of caregiving roles, and even financial difficulties due to increased caregiving expenses. Here are some tips you could consider adopting to enhance your spousal relationship:

1. Communicate regularly. It is important to understand and respect each other’s different opinions, and seek to complement each other’s parenting approach.
2. Set aside and spend quality time with each other.
3. Share caregiving responsibilities with each other, in terms of both physical and mental loads².

There may be times when you and your family must make difficult decisions regarding your loved one. Family members may have different opinions on your loved one’s education journey or appropriate interventions to adopt. These situations could lead to conflict, if not handled well.

Here are some tips to manage such conversations with sensitivity³:

1. Where possible, consider the readiness of your family members to discuss a difficult topic before bringing it up. Choose an appropriate time where they may be more open and relaxed.
2. Use appropriate and easy-to-understand language to help your family members understand your loved one’s disability, the options available and benefits or drawbacks.
3. Agree on guidelines such as keeping an open mind and respecting differences in opinion.
4. Anticipate possible reactions from family members and be prepared to address the concerns raised.

These tips should be adapted according to your unique family dynamic and context. If you still face challenges managing these conversations, you can consider approaching a neutral party or seeking professional support. Depending on the issue, planning ahead would also give you more time for decision-making.

If you require additional support in managing your family relationships, there are various social service agencies (SSAs) and organisations like family service centres you can reach out to for help. Some services available include family counselling, marriage counselling, marriage enrichment courses and family camps. In addition, there are also talks, workshops and camps for sibling caregivers of persons with disabilities such as those by SibsUnite. These events offer caregivers a platform to share about their challenges and get to know others who are in similar situations.