Supporting Your Loved One’s Mental Wellbeing

Before you can support your loved one’s psychological and emotional needs, it is important to examine your own attitude towards the disability. Your loved one will be able to sense your attitudes, emotions, and mindset, which will in turn affect their emotions and the way they view themselves. If you carry any negative feelings towards the disability, your loved one may feel like a burden, which can be affect their mental and physical health². It may also impact the quality and consistency of the care you provide to your loved one.

The social model of disability suggests that persons with disabilities are viewed as disabled due to physical and attitudinal barriers rather than their impairments. Adopting this view can help you adjust your attitude and shift your focus to removing such barriers to participation.

Persons with disabilities may battle with low self-esteem and lack a sense of belonging in their community, as they may compare themselves with their peers and feel self-conscious about the things that they are unable to do. They may also want to conceal their disabilities from others by hiding their aids and assistive equipment.

To help your loved one overcome these challenges, you can encourage them to meet other persons with disabilities and/or others who are facing similar challenges as them. This will create a sense of belonging and community as they are able to understand and identify with one another’s experiences. These friends can also become additional sources of emotional support for your loved one.

For individuals with late-onset, progressive or acquired disabilities, it may be particularly difficult for them to accept their disabilities. Having experienced what life was like before the disability, they may feel a greater sense of loss, bitterness, and resentment.

To counter this, some caregivers have highlighted the importance of cultivating a growth mindset in their loved ones, which is the belief that new abilities can be developed at any stage of life³. With this mindset and a positive perspective, your loved one will be better able to focus on the possibilities of their situation. You can help your loved one cultivate this mindset by⁴:

• Listening without comments or judgment
• Addressing any irrational or unhealthy thoughts, and supporting them as they come to terms with their condition
• Giving them time and space to accept their condition, especially for those with acquired disabilities
• Encouraging them to take a proactive role in self-advocating and sharing with people around them about their disability and ways to interact with them.
• Placing more focus on their abilities and unique strengths instead of their disability
• Encouraging them not to compare themselves with others
• Showing appreciation for them and embracing the positive aspects of their disability
• Providing words of encouragement when your loved one is faced with challenges
• Helping them understand that achieving a goal takes time and effort

Building resilience in your loved one helps in improving their ability to cope with and overcome challenges they may face in life. People who are more resilient are also less likely to develop mental health issues⁵.

To help your loved one become more resilient, you could:

• Encourage them to set achievable and realistic goals based on their personal strengths⁶.
• Help them develop close bonds with their friends and family as having more support will motivate them to keep pressing on.
• Reframe their mistakes as learning opportunities, teaching them to learn from the situation and think about how to do things differently in the future⁷.
• Help them manage stressful situations by identifying stressors and ways to regain composure (e.g., drawing, exercising, or singing)⁸.
• Teach them the concept of endurance so that they may persist in the pursuit of their goals, even if these take a long time. This could be through learning a new skill or playing board games that require decision-making and planning⁹.

Persons with disabilities may be at a greater risk of developing poor mental health¹⁰. Mood disorders such as depression and anxiety disorders are particularly prevalent in Singapore¹¹. Look out for these common signs:

Depression

• Changes in sleep patterns or appetite
• Persistent sadness; feeling down or sense of despair
• Avoiding contact with others and participating in fewer social activities
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed

Anxiety Disorder

• Mental symptoms: Apprehension, confusion, feeling on edge, having a sense of helplessness, worry, repeated negative thoughts
• Physical symptoms: muscle tension and weakness, pounding heart (palpitations) and difficulty breathing¹²

If your loved one is experiencing these symptoms, you can seek support from:

1. Beyond the Label helpbot by NCSS (which connects you to mental health-related resources and helplines)
2. Persons with Mental Health Conditions by NCSS
3. Institute of Mental Health - Child Guidance Clinic, Community Mental Health Team
4. Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) (for suicide-related support)